yay!!

well, i had my first midwife apointment today, and it was great! it was everything i was expecting from my family doc (who i *still* haven't seen) - friendly, informative, reassuring. i'm really happy. also have another ultrasound scheduled (for the 3 october), combining follow up on the subchorionic hematoma with the 11-14 week screen, where they do nuchal translucency etc. kind of scary, hoping for no bad news.

also, i managed to sleep through the night mostly last night (i woke up a few times, but went back to sleep as opposed to working my way through a crossword, an acrostic, and a sudoku). if only my tummy wasn't so messed up, i'd be great!

what dreams may come

it's quite startling how vivid and intense my dreams have gotten since getting knocked up. colourful, detailed, plot-heavy, mesmerising in the early morning hours when i am aware enough to be an active participant. i retain more memories from them, too. i revisit my childhood home in a new and strange incarnation, friends and even slight acquaintances take on new significance, an incredible inventory of items make up the set dressing, in infinite, exquisite detail. it's astonishing.

this post is also a little test of the post-via-email thingy. hope it works!

(on edit) it did! it did!

the stay-awake-and-try-not-to-puke diet

i've been experimenting. the latest theory is that maybe if i eat every three hours on the dot, i will not feel like puking (which happens if i get too hungry), and be able to stay awake. because really it's quite ridiculous how sleepy i am. so far, no puking but lots of yawning. ugh.

i'm sure lack of exercise isn't helping with the sleepiness, but until the next ultrasound i have to take it easy. it's still pretty scary any time i think "oh, if i run i can make that streetcar!" and then i remember what the consequences could be. lots of paranoia going around. no fun.

had an uneventful doc appointment yesterday - i don't have hiv or syphilis, not anemic (for once), blah blah. i'm kind of surprised that my doc hasn't bothered to weigh me or anything! but then i still haven't seen *my* doc, as she wasn't in yesterday and i got stuck with someone else again. really frustrating, i don't have to tell you. i'm almost tempted to go somewhere else, but docs aren't too easy to come by. but i may have no choice soon. i have a feeling my doc is regretting returning to work post-baby - if two days a weekis too much, i expect she'll want to cut down to zero soon. ugh.

i think i understand now

why some people can talk of nothing other than pregnancy when they're pregnant. it's the three-month wait to say anything. every time see a pregnant woman on the street car i want to say, "i'm pregnant too!" not too mention how many of my friends i'm sure have guessed something is up by my constant exhaustion (new wrinkle there: now i wake up at three or four o'clock in the morning, and can't fall asleep again for at least an hour). one friend has guessed that i'm pregnant twice. co-workers have said "maybe you've got what r. has" (r. being pregnant herself).

i can see how all of this bottled-up everything would lead to an explosion after a while.

just checking in

nothing new here, all i do is sleep! cottage trip this weekend is off, which means i won't get to see dad for a while (he's in the hospital with a possible stroke). i feel achy and tender and tired. can't wait to sleep for three days.