the dream

i have had a recurring dream since i got knocked up.

in the dream, i have to go to the bathroom, but something is always stopping me - the telephone rings, someone insists on telling me a long boring story and won't let me go, someone walks in on me in the loo (in last night's dream, this happened three times in the same washroom - i locked the door after the first incident, but there was a *second* door, and when i locked that, some workmen came along and took the first door off its hinges).

eventually, the dormant rational side of my brain asks, "what would happen if you succeeded in peeing in your dream?"

at this point, i wake up and head to the loo as fast as i can in my current state.

what do you think my subconscious is trying to tell me?

the good news is...

... my hip isn't hurting as much as it was. last night, i crawled into bed without any paralysing pangs for the first time in a month, and was able to roll over with barely a twinge.

of course, i was still awake most of the night. rolling over at three o'clock in the morning, my thoughts went quickly from "yay, that didn't hurt a bit!" to "okay then, so why am i awake?" and stayed there for a long time - until i got up about an hour ago. really, i wasn't coughing, my hip wasn't bugging me much, i didn't have to go to the loo, there was no reason at all for me to be awake all night last night!

sickness continues.

i'm still sick, and my husband is still sick. he's even managed to get worse, after seeming to get better. he actually got so bad that he went to a doctor and got a prescription for antibiotics. this is i think the second time he has been to the doctor in the entire time we have known each other. the other time was three years ago.

i myself now have two! count 'em, two! inhalers. doctor says it looks like my chest cold has all cleared up (lovely) but i now have "reactive airways syndrome" which is where the lung tissue - all the bronchials and alveoli or whatever - hasn't recovered, and gets triggered into spasms of coughing by any old thing at all, or even nothing. i've probably got some of the details wrong, but i think that's a close enough description. my hip still hurts when i cough, but i'm getting better at ignoring the pain when it isn't extreme.

but what i wouldn't give right now for a good night's sleep! i gave up this morning at six and started knitting slippers which have already turned out to be too big. sigh.

well, i have learned one thing...

... i can't sleep sitting up.

i finally figured out...

... what the pregnant nose is for. it's to counteract the pregnant brain. how many times have i started cooking something, when i had to go to the loo (pregnant bladder), and completely forgotten what i was doing. so i sit down with a magazine, or with my knitting, or at the computer, and all of a sudden - what's that smell? i have done this countless times, but so far, so good - i always smell dinner in plenty of time to keep anything dreadful from happening. go, preggo nose!

in other news, despite the total lack of sleep, i do seem to be getting my energy back. i just made a lasagna, and painted a dresser for the nursery (don't worry, i did it outside, and it was quite windy today, i couldn't even smell the paint at all, even with supernose). part of this, i think, is due to the fact that my husband and i have started doing a weekly meal plan. before, he would say "what do you want for dinner?" and i would say "toast!" and i would eat toast, and he'd say "you have to eat something else," and run through some possibilities which i would veto, and by then it would be quite late, so he would wind up heating some canned habitant pea soup. for several months, it was all toast, pea soup, and poutine (for lunch). the only vitamins i got were from the materna supplement and all the lemonade i was drinking (that's got vitamin c, right?). now, we're making a point to get more fibre and more leafy greens. whole wheat pasta! spinach! kale! i've been keeping track of everything with fitday.com, and so far, i've been getting almost all the nutrients i'm supposed to, just from diet. plus i'm still taking the supplement anyway. i swear, it's making a difference.

argh

things are not going so well right now. the baby appears to be happy and healthy, but i am not! the pain in my hip is getting worse, and i have a chest cold, and every time i cough, i get a spasm of pain in my hip. ouch! when my hip first started popping, it was only very occasionally, and the rest of the time i was fine. now it's going almost constantly, and there's a constant pain when i lie down (on my back, on my side, with a pillow between my knees, whichever way i try). i can't sleep. i wake up repeatedly through the night. trying to roll over in bed hurts like crazy. i'm exhausted.

and i'm not even halfway through this yet!

that's the real kicker... it's not like the baby will be here in a month and i just have to stick it out and then all will be fine. i have to stick it out for almost five more months and i still have to work in the meantime!

a couple more suggestions for people talking to preggos

6. don't tell your pregnant friend what exercises she "should" be doing. especially if you have never had a baby. constructive suggestions from other mothers are fine (e.g. "ooh, i had pgp too, i found yoga really helped with that"). but if you've never had a baby, really? you don't know what you're talking about. so can it.

7. if you've just met a preggo for the first time, say at a mutual friend's birthday party, do not ask her "so how long did it take you to get pregnant?" what an incredibly intrusive question! your friend's pregnant friend doesn't know you, and probably has no interest in sharing personal details of her life with you in front of other strangers. or maybe, in the interests of education, she would like to share with you all sorts of gory details of her multiple tries and miscarriages. what fun dinner party conversation! in any case, back off, please.

how to deal with your pregnant friend

a primer!

1. there could be any number of reasons why your pregnant friend didn't answer the phone when you called. she could be out and about. or, she could be trying to sleep, trying to quietly sit out a wave of nausea, or spending some quality time in the loo. in any case, leave a message, and she will call you back when she has the time and energy. do not call three times in five minutes, and then call her mobile. unless you are a crazy stalker and looking for a restraining order.

1a. if your friend doesn't call you back right away, it may be because she is tired/pukey/etc. if she's had a long day at work with her crazy boss, chances are all she wants to do when she gets home at seven o'clock is have a nap. when she gets up at nine-thirty it is to eat dinner, and after that she may think it's too late to call. so be patient.

1b. the above are not reasons to call the pregnant friend at work. work is not the place for personal calls.

1c. she may also take her time calling you back because when you call four times in five minutes, it makes her feel hounded. so back off.

2. your pregnant friend may not be as sociable as she used to be, due to sleepiness, pukiness, etc. if she tells you "i really don't have the energy for social events on weeknights," do not continually invite her to social events on weeknights, and then say "is something wrong? are you mad at me? i never see you anymore" when she politely declines.

3. don't overwhelm your pregnant friend with advice. everyone else is already doing that, and chances are she has a doctor or midwife helping her out as well! she has probably already heard that breastfeeding is a good idea, etc., and is tired of being nagged about it.

4. similarly, don't critique your pregnant friend's diet. chances are there are only four things that she can eat without wanting to hurl. also, comments like "lucky you, you can eat whatever you want!" make no sense and are stupid, especially when you said the exact same thing to your pregnant friend last week, and she told you then that you are way off base.

5. if you can't say anything nice, just shut up already.