my new best friend

is lemonade. i could drink it by the gallon.

in other news, i did some idle googling, after wondering why everyone isn't raving about diclectin on a discussion forum for preggos that i lurk at.

turns out you can't get it in the states - there were some lawsuits launched over possible birth defects 25 years ago, and it was withdrawn from the market by its maker in 1983. they figured the cost of fighting was too high. but theoretically no connection has been shown between diclectin and birth defects - my doctor and midwife both say it's the safest, most test drug for use in pregnancy. motherisk is 100% behind diclectin. they even say you can take eight a day maximum, while my doctor said no more than four. so, i'm not letting the worry get to me, really. really. no, i mean it.

oh, the heat

we're having an early heat wave here. hard to believe it's still only may, when it's 34+ outside, and feels like 41 with the humidity. worse luck, i've started growing already. cotton dresses which were comfortable last year are now too tight in the chest, making it hard to breathe (as if that wasn't hard enough already!). at least the transit strike only lasted half a day; the walk to work is just too much in this weather. especially with the smog levels. ugh.

i tried to buy a dress the other day - it was a wrap dress, so i was thinking "adjustable." no, it was only a faux-wrap, with a hidden zipper on the side. i tried it anyway - whoa! suddenly there is all of this crazy cleavage. it seems to have appeared since friday. from nothing to vavoom!

in other news, the diclectin seems to be helping with the all-day sickness. i wake nervously, tiptoe gingerly around, and then realise my stomach is actually okay. thank goodness for that!

yay!

good appointment with the midwife (pam) yesterday. she seems really awesome and on the ball - told me all sorts of useful things for combatting my various symptoms (speaking of symptoms, the girls are starting to ache and grow), which i hadn't read elsewhere. we also talked about home birth vs. hospital birth - i'm still leaning towards hospital, but you never know. my husband is going to come to the next appointment (on june 15).

tomorrow is a physical with my doc, and next week is my first ultrasound! can't wait!

midwife today!

woo hoo! i hope they don't ask too many questions about the miscarriage. do not want to dwell on that. and tey have all my files, after all.

and i got all my blood drawn yesterday too. and despite the fact that normally i can't go half an hour without running to the loo, i failed to produce anything for the little jar. which, despite leaving it in our bathroom as a reminder, i totally forgot about this morning. augh.

too weird

so, my husband and i went up to the cottage this weekend, per may two-four tradition. it was colder than hell (and i do believe that hell must be cold). h's cousin came up too, with his wife.

i have been hearing for years about how h's mum and aunty were pregnant together (along with another aunty), and h and cousin have always been close as a result. i've often thought, wouldn't it be nice if cousin had a kid the same age as ours, and the kids could grow up together? and we could have consecutive weeks at the cottage in the summer, and the kids would stay up for the full two weeks, and each set of parents would get a week off?

anyway, so we're having breks, and cousin's wife announces that she's pregnant. i say really? how far along? she says six weeks. i say, me too!

so, everyone is happy and congratulating and everything else. but it gets better.

what's your due date? 11 january. me too!

and she's going to the same midwives' practice.

and her doctor is in the same practice as mine.

how freaky is that!! pretty freaking freaky, if you ask me. we'll be at the same hospital, high-fiving each other in the hallway.

but mostly, it was really nice (for both of us) to talk to someone at the same stage, and just be able to talk, period. we had both been wondering that morning, how am i going to get out of doing the heavy lifting without looking like a jerk? what if i feel like puking or really need a nap? it was so nice just to be honest and normal and ourselves.

i can't think of any couple i'd rather share this pregnancy with!

little update

well i'm back from the doctor, and thought i'd post an update before i head out of town - i have a couple of ultrasound reqs, and one booked for the 2 june. and reqs for bloodwork, and a prescription for dilactin (sp?) for my nausea. which is hitting right now, as i had a super-late lunch, and so i over-ate greasy thai food... not nice. i should know better!

6 weeks, 5 days

and i'm off to the doctor! 2:30 today, for "counselling" (the physical is next week). i'm feeling pukey, but not complaining about it as it is a good sign. we're off to the cottage this weekend (of course) so no updates till monday night probably.

i was going to say something

but i forgot what it was. i forgot my umbrella on the subway yesterday. the day before, i forgot my newspaper. have to start writing everything down, i guess.

there they are!

i had been wondering where my symptoms were - i was tired and hungry, but that was about it - what if i wasn't really pregnant? give me a sign, beans!

well, be careful what you wish for...

it's not too bad, really. just kind of queasy. and irregular. and so tired. and everything smells.

i wish i could have a nap right now, actually, but i have to get to work. sigh...

also, i'm almost afraid to look, but i think today is 6 weeks 3 days, which was a bad time last time. all fingers and toes are crossed. and i am on high alert for anything resembling a cramp.

here come the symptoms

i am six weeks one day today, and i've been talking to my belly and saying "give me a sign" and i think i just got a couple - nausea, and i realised that i, uh, haven't gone in a while.

meantime, i've been looking all over the internet for a nice straightforward list of what a pregnant lady shouldn't be eating. straightforward, don't you think? but no. i have found a million "articles," each of which mentions some things but not others, focussing on one problem only (mercury poisoning, say), and often burying the information within paragraphs explaining background in detail.

all this because someone mentioned they wanted a ham sandwich. i had no idea ham was on the "no" list.

anyway, i put together a list compiling all of the info that i've found so far. maybe i'll post it later.

meanwhile, i think i need to eat still more fibre.

strategically reading

i'm trying to remember what i was feeling at this stage last time, and cursing myself for not writing more copious entries. it is officially 5 weeks and 3 days right now, and i'm worried (of course!) that i'm not pregnant enough. in one week it will be 6 weeks and 3 days, and that's how big the last jellybean measured when the bleeding started. so, needless to say, for the next week or so, i'm going to be indulging heavily in paranoia.

for the record: i am sleepy like crazy, and hungry like a fiend. i can do the healthy stuff all day but when night time comes, i want peanuts and cake and five glasses of milk. and still with the twinges in the neighbourhood of my right ovary.

and with that - to bed!

what was that?

i'm at the paranoid twingy phase, alternating between feeling panicky because of strange pangs and throbs emanating from my belly, and feeling panicky because i "don't have enough symptoms." can't wait to get to see the docs; i have appointments now for prenatal counselling (19 may), midwife (24 may), and prenatal physical (26 may).

i just want a medical professional to confirm that everything is fine!

meanwhile, i'm taking vitamins and watching what i eat. someone my weight is supposed to gain 25 to 35 pounds, and i'm trying not to start right away - there will be time (and need) for weight gain when the kid(s?) are 8 pounds as opposed to 8 cells. so far so good - lots of high-fibre stuff, fresh fruit and veg.

i still kind of can't believe it. i still have my fingers and toes crossed.

talking to my belly

i'm sure people on the street think i'm a crazy person muttering to myself, but really i'm just talking to my beans (i'm kind of hoping for twins, and a few days ago - before i even tested - i was heading somewhere and the second embryo nickname came to me: jumping bean. i have decided that this is a good twin omen, although i am not counting on it by any means!).

today is the day i call the doctor and the midwife. probably i won't get to see my doc (i don't think she has any spots till june), but there is one other doc at her practice who is okay. and maybe i'll see if i can book ahead with my real doc as well, since she is the best.

oh, and i'm going to have to make my poor husband clean the cat litter. although we might still have rubber gloves and face masks around somewhere. is that over-reacting to wear that much protective gear? well i don't care!

here we go again!

i just got a positive on a home pregnancy test! on the last day of my mother-in-law's visit, too. i am so pleased to be able to tell her while she is here that she will be a grandmother. my husband says he is deliriously happy too!